Children born of war (CBOW) are individuals whose one parent, usually the mother, was a member of the invaded (occupied) local community and one, usually the father, was one of the invaders, occupiers, simply enemies. For the purpose of my research carried out in Poland I have adopted a slightly broader definition of the group, encompassing both children who were born in situations marked by war, occupation, forced labor and captivity, when the parents belonged to two enemy sides, and children who, as a result of being CBOW, were never born. Among them I distinguish individuals conceived as a result of sexual violence – „motivated and perpetuated by a complex mix of individual and collective, premeditated and circumstantial reasons" – as well as those who were conceived as a result of sexual relationships with a varying degree of consent, bearing in mind that given the reality of war and occupation it is impossible to precisely define the nature of each individual relationship. Despite all differences CBOW in Poland became an elephant in the room. The conspiracy of silence due to many reasons has shaped not merely their personal experiences and affected their families and social relations but has also connected with a denial process of this phenomenon in the public sphere. Appling the concept of elephant in the room theorized by Eviatar Zerubavel lead me to conclusion that also some strategies of resilience elaborated by "Polish School of Psychiatry" of Antoni Kępinski, then continued by Maria Orwid and her team, dedicated for Children of Holocaust, could be a way to heal both private and social memory of Polish Children Born of War and their families.
